Woman turns away husband’s orphaned niece facing foster care

A recent dilemma has surfaced for a young couple regarding the care of their recently orphaned niece. This complex situation has led the wife to seek advice on Reddit, as she grapples with the implications of potentially having the child placed in foster care.

The Tragic Background

The wife, referred to as the OP (original poster), shared that her husband’s sister tragically passed away due to a heroin overdose. This sudden event left behind two children, Rose, nearly 17, and Lilly, just seven years old. The couple, based on the East Coast, faces challenges with distance as the rest of the family lives in California.

Family Dynamics and Challenges

OP’s mother-in-law, residing in a small home with her boyfriend in California, is of limited means and space. This situation makes it difficult to accommodate both children. While Rose plans to stay on her grandmother’s couch until she can go to college next year, young Lilly requires a more stable long-term living arrangement.

Immediate Concerns

The immediate concern is Lilly’s living situation. The grandmother’s boyfriend has expressed his discomfort with Lilly staying in their already cramped space. This has escalated the urgency to find a suitable solution for Lilly, who currently lacks a permanent home.

The Couple’s Reluctance

Despite the family’s desire for the couple to take in Lilly, OP has reservations. Her primary concern is her husband’s lack of involvement at home, attributed to his military job which includes long hours and frequent deployments. This situation would likely leave OP with the primary responsibility for Lilly, a role she feels unprepared for, especially considering Lilly’s additional needs like ADHD and behavioral challenges.

Personal Boundaries

Compounding the issue, OP is candid about her desire not to have children, which intensifies her hesitation to adopt Lilly. She questions the fairness of expecting her to take in a child she has never met and to whom she has no biological connection.

The Ongoing Debate

This scenario has understandably led to tension between OP and her husband as they navigate these challenging family dynamics and the potential of foster care for Lilly. The couple continues to explore their options, seeking the best outcome for Lilly while balancing their capabilities and desires.

The decision remains complex, highlighting the intricate balance of family responsibility and personal limitations. The couple’s journey underscores the profound challenges and emotional decisions families face when unexpected tragedies occur.