My Son Was Ashamed of Me

Being a teenager is like riding a roller coaster—there’s a lot of excitement, ups and downs, and sometimes, you just want to ride alone, not with your parents. That’s the tough part for both teens and their folks. It’s a journey from being a kid to becoming an adult, filled with growing pains, discovering who you are, and plenty of arguments. But, it’s also a chance for parents to show patience, understanding, and support.

Teenagers really want to stand on their own two feet, which can sometimes cause clashes with their parents. Most moms and dads try hard to find the right balance between letting their kids be independent and maintaining some control.

In these tricky relationships, it’s key for parents to know when to step back and when to guide, all while keeping the lines of communication open.

Here’s a story from a mom who found herself in a tough spot with her son.

“My 14-year-old son started feeling embarrassed by my husband and me about two years ago. We thought it was just a phase, but it’s only gotten worse. You’d think we were the strangest people the way he avoids being seen with us. He tells us not to come to his sports games, not to drop him off right in front, and to let him go into the mall first. He’s nice when we’re buying him something or doing things his way, but otherwise, we feel pretty dismissed.

A few days back, I drove 40 minutes to pick him up from a school event, and he made me wait a block away so his friends wouldn’t see him with me. When I finally saw him, and there were other kids around, he blushed, waited for them to leave, then hopped in the car and told me to just drive. I’ve told him how his actions hurt us, but he doesn’t seem to care. Enough was enough.

That evening, he needed a new t-shirt for an event, so while driving him to the store, I suddenly said, ‘Duck!’ and pushed his head down, pretending to hide him because I was ’embarrassed’ to be seen with him. At the store, I hurried inside and asked him to hang back so ‘no one would see us together.’ He caught on quick.

When he asked how it felt to be treated that way, he admitted, ‘Not good.’

The next day, I took him to get a bus pass because I told him I didn’t want to drive him anymore. At the office, I loudly said I was embarrassed to be seen with him. I made him stand by the door and stay quiet. I think he’s starting to understand, but I’m not sure yet.

I shared all this with my sister, and she was livid. She thinks it’s just a phase he’ll grow out of. But after nearly two years, I feel worn out by his attitude. What do you guys think?”

This mom’s approach might seem a bit extreme, but sometimes, you have to walk in someone else’s shoes to truly understand their feelings. It’s all about learning and growing together, even through the tough times.