Mother-In-Law Loses Visitation Rights to Grandson Due to Potty-Training Disaster

It could majorly mess up the lives of lots of parents and their kids, and you really want your little ones to feel super supported through it all. It’s pretty wild how a disagreement about potty training blew up to the point where a mom decided to cut off her son’s grandma.

“About two weeks ago, my husband’s mom dropped by, and just then, I was taking my son to the loo,” I recount. She decided to scare him by saying, ‘Watch out, a monster might jump out of the loo!’ My son freaked out, refusing to use his potty and choosing to wet his pants instead. My husband and I were puzzled about why Grandma would do such a thing, so we asked her. But she got all defensive and claimed it was just a joke. She stubbornly refused to say sorry. That’s why we had to ask her to leave our place.”

The woman also points out that the potty training has been totally derailed.

 

“Ever since, my son has been avoiding his potty for two weeks straight, so we’ve resorted to putting him back in diapers for the time being. Usually, I’d pin the blame on the MIL. Yet, the vague details and the laid-back way of cutting someone off from their grandkid after such an incident speaks volumes.”

After discussing it with my husband, we both concurred that his mom should no longer see our son.” It’s pretty shocking how the parents have outright banned the kid’s grandma over what seemed like a harmless joke. While their concern is understandable, the full-on ban feels a bit much.

“Now that she’s realized the seriousness of the situation, she’s begging for our forgiveness. But she wasn’t keen on apologizing initially, and her regret now seems driven purely by the consequences she’s facing. We can’t forgive her, and she truly doesn’t deserve our forgiveness. She’s not welcome at our place anymore.”

It’s no shock that opinions are mixed on this, with some voicing their disagreement with the parents. One commenter pointed out, “It’s clear why she’s in the wrong. You’ve gone too far with the ban. Ban her till Christmas or till he’s potty trained, that would directly tie to her mistake.”

 

And here’s the main issue: A lifelong ban for a joke just doesn’t seem right. Around two weeks ago, my husband’s mom paid us a visit. By chance, that was when I needed to take my son to the bathroom. She warned him, “Just so you know, you might get a surprise from the toilet!” My son started crying, stubbornly refusing his potty and choosing to wet his pants instead. We were both surprised and questioned Grandma about her motive, but she immediately defended herself, claiming it was all in jest. She stubbornly refused to apologize. That led us to decide she had to go.

“It’s been tough with my son’s potty training of late. He’s been staunchly avoiding the potty for the last two weeks, so we’ve had to revert to diapers for the time being.” After a deep talk with my husband, we’ve jointly decided to cut off his mother from our son indefinitely. It’s surprising that the parents have entirely banned the child’s grandma over what likely was a harmless joke. While their concern is understandable, the ban’s scope seems overly harsh.

“Now that she grasps the weight of her actions, she’s been imploring us to forgive her. However, her initial refusal to apologize and her apparent remorse only in the face of backlash make it clear. We cannot forgive her, and she does not merit any forgiveness. She’s not welcome in our home anymore.”

It’s unsurprising that views on this differ, with some criticizing the parents. One commenter remarked, “It’s evident why she’s problematic.” I’m let down by the extent of the ban. A temporary suspension until Christmas or until he’s potty trained would more appropriately match her fault.

Here’s hoping the mom who first told the story aims to be the grandmother she desires:

 

“A temporary ban until he’s potty trained might be reasonable, but forever?”

“She threw a stone, and you launched a missile.”

“I really hope you aim to become an outstanding mother-in-law and grandma, so your son doesn’t end up dealing with someone as quick to react as you.”

If this is the grandmother’s first big slip-up, maybe a probation period could be considered:

“If this is her first strike, maybe probation could be a way forward.” If Granny has a history of such antics, it might be smart to keep her at a distance. Her refusal to apologize is also troubling.
It seems the untold story might be the most telling part. Is there more to their relationship than what’s being shared?

“Clearly, there are other issues at play. It looks like the OP was seeking a reason for this, and she thought she found the perfect excuse. Normally, I’d suspect the MIL’s fault. However, the scant details