To Make My Mother-in-Law Happy, I Didn’t Invite My Mom to My Wedding

For a woman, maybe the wedding is among the happiest days of their life. Yet, we all agree that conflicts, often sparked by mothers-in-law, can crop up, putting a damper on the joyous event. Recently, I, Lara, a bride in my early days of marriage, reached out to our editorial team seeking solace and advice amidst a deeply troubling incident that unfolded during my wedding.

In my letter, I wrote:

“I was raised by my adoptive family from the time I was a baby. It was a stable upbringing, but two years ago, my biological mother, Clara, reappeared in my life. Initially, I found it hard to forgive her for the years of absence, but as she shared her story, I couldn’t help but empathize. She was young and alone when she had me, lacking the resources to raise a child, which led to her decision to put me up for adoption. She’s a humble woman, lacking formal education and financial means. Nonetheless, I embraced her presence in my life, feeling blessed to have two mothers.

Meanwhile, I’ve been in a relationship with my now-husband for the past 4 years. He comes from a wealthy family similar to my adoptive one. However, when my biological mother resurfaced, my mother-in-law wasn’t pleased.

My MIL always looked down on her and excluded her from family gatherings, considering her unfit for our circle. For our big day, my MIL funded everything under one condition: Mama Clara shouldn’t attend the upscale event. I felt devastated. However, despite my strong desire for her to be there, I chose not to risk complicating my relationship with my in-laws.

So, I convinced myself, thinking, ‘My birth mom never attended any of my significant moments while I was growing up, so it should be okay for her if she skips this one too.” As I informed her of the decision, she nodded, simply.

On the big day, as I prepared to walk to the altar, a stranger tapped me on the back and handed me a letter. Glancing back, I saw Mama Clara in a parked taxi, waving at me. But with the ceremonial music starting, I couldn’t approach her and just proceeded with walking in.

Just after the ceremony, I read her poignant letter, in which she expressed her lifelong longing to meet me and her deep sorrow at being excluded from such a significant moment. She wrote that she understood my dilemma and had decided to step out of my life, not wanting to be a source of shame or complication…

Since that day, I couldn’t get a hold of her either on her phone or at her apartment. Now, I find myself grappling with the pain of losing her once again. I realize the hurt I’ve caused, and I’m unsure how to mend our relationship. I want to make things right, but I feel lost.

Sincerely, Lara”