My Husband Is Punishing Me Because I Can’t Breastfeed Our Newborn

Misunderstandings happen a lot between married couples, especially when there’s a newborn in the house. It’s important to deal with these issues with understanding and respect. If not, things can get worse and make life even harder. Recently, I felt really overwhelmed and sad when my husband didn’t help with our baby and instead got mad at me for things I couldn’t control.

We got married about a year ago, and I got pregnant quickly. Four weeks ago, I gave birth to our baby boy. The birth went smoothly, but breastfeeding was a struggle. It was painful, and our baby didn’t seem to get enough milk. He was always hungry and crying after nursing, which meant many sleepless nights for us.

After trying everything I could think of, I went to see my doctor. The doctor suggested we switch to formula. He said I had done my best and that it was important to make sure our baby got enough to eat so he wouldn’t wake up hungry at night.

When I told my husband about this, he wasn’t happy. He insisted that breastfeeding was the healthiest option and that we shouldn’t switch just because our baby seemed “picky” and I was “lacking sleep,” as he put it.

Two days ago, my baby wouldn’t feed again, and my husband was out with his friends. I felt desperate and called the pediatrician for advice. Following his advice, I ordered formula and started bottle-feeding the baby. The difference was amazing—my baby slept better, and I finally felt some relief.

My husband is still on parental leave, so he doesn’t have to get up early for work. Yesterday, I was feeling really sick and asked him to handle the bottle-feeding that night so I could sleep. He refused, saying, “Since you stopped producing milk like a normal woman and switched to formula without my consent, then you handle night feedings just like you did when you breastfed.”

His words hurt, but the worst part was when he added, “And by the way, since you chose to buy formula, which is a waste of money and an unnecessary expense, you will cover any extra baby expenses from now on. You need to bear the consequences of your thoughtless actions.”

His comments about money and my womanhood cut deep. I feel unsupported and lost. We need to share the responsibility, especially since he’s on parental leave and earns more money. I don’t know what to do next and would really appreciate any advice.