FINANCIAL DISAGREEMENTS TEAR FAMILY APART: AM I WRONG?

Am I wrong for feeling betrayed by my own daughter over money? I’m Martha, a 58-year-old widow, and my daughter, Elaine, is 32. Our story might sound like many others, but the depth of betrayal has left me questioning everything.

Five years ago, after my husband passed away, I received a significant life insurance payout. Thinking of the future, I decided to help Elaine and her husband, Tom, by buying them a house. It was meant to be an investment for them, and in return, they agreed to take care of any maintenance or tax costs. I thought it was a perfect way to ensure they had a secure future and to use my husband’s legacy wisely.

However, recently, I discovered that Elaine and Tom have been renting out the house for the past year without telling me and keeping the income for themselves. They justified it by saying the money helped cover their increased living costs and claimed they were still handling the upkeep.

I felt utterly deceived. Not only did they break our agreement, but they also lied about their financial situation. When I confronted them, Elaine accused me of trying to control her life and said that I should be happy they were making smart financial decisions.

The situation escalated quickly. We had a heated argument, and now we barely speak. I feel like I’ve not only lost money but also my daughter. I’m torn between the desire to legally reclaim the house or trying to mend our relationship.

Am I wrong for wanting to take back the house? Should I have just been content knowing they were supposedly managing well financially? The thought of taking legal action against my daughter breaks my heart, but I also feel like a fool for trusting them blindly.

Here are some comments:

• It’s heartbreaking when trust is broken like that. Maybe give it some time and then try talking to her again?
• I think you should take back the house. It’s your money and your investment, they’ve abused your trust.
• This is tough. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Maybe mediation could help?
• They took advantage of you, and you have every right to feel upset. Protect your assets!
• It seems like there’s more going on here. Perhaps they’re struggling more than they let on?
• As painful as it is, sometimes we have to stand up for ourselves, even if it means going against family.
• Have you considered family counseling? It might help mend your relationship with Elaine.