BROTHER VS SISTER: ESTATE BATTLE AFTER PARENTS’ DEATH

Am I wrong for thinking I deserve a fair share? I’m Clara, a 58-year-old widow, and I’m caught in a heartbreaking feud with my brother, John, who’s 60. It all started when our parents passed away unexpectedly within a short span of each other last year.

Our parents left behind a considerable estate, including a family business, several properties, and valuable heirlooms. Since our parents’ will was somewhat outdated, it didn’t clearly dictate how their assets should be divided beyond the business and main house, which were left equally to John and me.

John has always been the more assertive one, and immediately took over managing the family business and the properties. I didn’t mind initially because I trusted him. However, when I asked about the division of the remaining assets, John insisted that since he was managing everything, he should get a larger share. He argued that the extra work justified a bigger portion of the estate.

Feeling sidelined, I suggested hiring a professional to manage the estate so that the division could be equal. John dismissed the idea, claiming it would be a waste of money. This escalated to a huge argument where he accused me of being greedy and not appreciating his efforts.

Our relationship has since deteriorated, and we barely speak, except through our lawyers. It hurts because we were very close before our parents’ death. The situation has become so stressful that it’s affecting my health, and I feel isolated dealing with the grief of losing my parents and potentially my brother.

I’ve been accused of tearing the family apart and being ungrateful, but I believe I’m just standing up for what’s fair. The stress has been overwhelming, and I’m starting to doubt myself.

Am I wrong for wanting an equal share of our parents’ estate? Is it wrong to ask for professional help to manage the estate fairly? I miss my brother, and I hate that money has come between us, but I also feel I shouldn’t just back down.

Here are some comments:

• “Family and money is always a tricky mix. Maybe mediation could help you both?”
• “You have every right to seek fairness in the division of assets.”
• “It sounds like your brother might be feeling overwhelmed as well. Have you tried reaching out just to talk?”
• “Hiring a professional isn’t just fair, it’s smart. Keeps things objective.”
• “You’re not wrong for wanting an equal share. It’s your right as much as his.”
• “This is why it’s so important to have clear wills. Sorry you’re going through this.”
• “Family should be more important than money. Hope you guys can resolve it.”